Change of Life

What a difference a day makes…

On September 12th, my main job was working from home as a freelance writer and speaker. On September 13th, my main job became working outdoors as a full-time assistant gardener, a drastic change that happened literally from one moment to the next, and for the saddest of reasons: early that morning, my husband’s sole employee and workmate Mark was taken ill, (we assumed with a heart attack), and rushed to hospital. Knowing Hubcap would never manage the day’s schedule alone, I abandoned my plans and hurried out with him to help. Then at around ten-thirty we received awful, shocking news: Mark had died in the ambulance – almost certainly the one Mick saw racing past on the main road, sirens blaring, while he was at his first job – before even leaving our street.

It was impossible to take in. We’d envisaged him having an operation, convalescing, making a good recovery and, eventually, returning to work on light duties. We’d planned to find out about sick pay, something Hubcap had never dealt with before because Mark had the constitution of an ox, and seldom missed a day’s work though illness. I’d expected to give only short-term emergency cover, and perhaps to carry on part-time if he wanted to reduce his hours. Now all that was suddenly wiped out. Hubcap’s assistant for twenty-five years, a guest at our wedding, a near neighbour I’d seen or spoken to almost daily since 2005, and worked with on many occasions – he was suddenly gone, completely and forever. It felt surreal, dislocating, unbelievable; I had exchanged greetings and a brief chat with Mark only eighteen hours ago – it seemed impossible that he could be dead.

But he was; and being stuck out in mid-job, we had to stop floundering and deal with the new reality we’d been so shockingly catapulted into. Our immediate problem was to get round all the customers waiting for their gardens to be done as usual, not just today but for the rest of the week and the foreseeable future. My immediate solution was offering to step in as a trainee replacement. Gardening is, after all, our bread-and-butter; my freelance ventures, with their wildly unpredictable and often minimal returns, have only ever been the jam. So instantly changing profession made sense, even though I knew it would be very arduous work, requiring total commitment and leaving me little time or energy for anything else.

This may sound an extreme, perhaps ill-advised course; however, if you follow my website or blogs about Beckside, our nascent smallholding, you may not be too surprised by the decision. Gardening has long been a favourite hobby; I’ve done casual work in the business for over a decade – especially in the past two years since my hip replacement restored me to full vigour – and thanks to re-enacting and land work, I’m well used to (and can enjoy) long days of physical graft. So I’m not risking my health by leaping straight from a desk job into full-time hard labour; it’s more like expanding some leisure pursuits into my main paid occupation – and thankfully, so far, so good.

There is a price to pay: I had to close my funeral celebrancy business straight away, (although I’ll still perform the odd service for friends and sell Safehands Funeral Plans). I also cut back on Herstory services including lectures and guided walks, as you’ll see on the pruned-down and updated website; it really goes against the grain to turn down further talk requests, but on weekdays I’ll be too unavailable, and most evenings I’ll be too shattered to go out again and try to entertain an audience. I’m even selling my male re-enactment kit because I can’t imagine ever doing battle or cross-dressing for a schools presentation again, (but I’ll never give up archery or sell my beloved longbow!). And while I doubt I’ll manage to publish any new books before we retire in 2020, I’ll keep selling all my current catalogue and writing for fun in the meantime.

What a difference a day makes, indeed. And while I’m enjoying the challenges of this new lifestyle, I sincerely wish that it hadn’t come about under such tragic circumstances… yes, RIP, Mark.

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6 thoughts on “Change of Life

  1. A “like” does not really seem the right thing to say to such a tragedy. What a terrible shock for you all and for Mark’s family of course and what a change in your life through this one event. It is fortunate that you do enjoy gardening but pace yourself and leave time for the other things you love.

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